You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
