I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
