I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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