singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
