Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize