Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
