can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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