best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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