he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
