i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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