All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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