honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
