just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
