so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
