how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
