this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
