The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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