Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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