I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
