We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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