Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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