Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
