On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
