Screwed.edu
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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