i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
