lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
