nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
