Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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