During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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