Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
