Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
