3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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