She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
