goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize