At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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