She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
