I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
