Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
