True but thats because hes a fetus.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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