Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
But theres a keg here and me gusta
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize