It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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