i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
youre lurking in front of me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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