He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
