Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she peed on how many people?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
