having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
