Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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