similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
