I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
