Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
