You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
