I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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