i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
