I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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