So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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