i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
