He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
