Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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