I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
