The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
