i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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