I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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