Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
