Sry I called you an 8
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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